No Regrets
by Arlothia
Summary: We may not know exactly when we're going to die, but we can chose where we want to be and who we want to be with. The only question is: do you have any regrets?


One last journey. One last adventure. He had always been with someone before, whether it was Ellie, Russell, or even that never-ending motor mouth of a dog, Doug. But this he had to do alone.

He hadn't said good-bye to anyone, hadn't even let them know he was leaving. He simply got into his dirigible and flew away, like he had flown away all those years ago when he had finally discovered, after so many years of forgetting, what adventure was; what love and companionship were.

The only person he _had_ said good-bye to was the only one who couldn't say it back. He got a dozen blue balloons from the store that morning and walked to the cemetery. It was always there little joke. They almost never gave each other flowers. It was always balloons…from the very beginning.

He knew how to find her grave by heart. He didn't need eyes to see the path. When you find the other half of your heart they can never really be separated. They always call out to each other, letting the other know where they are so they can make their way back to them. Ellie was his heart. His whole heart.

He tied the balloons to a stake in the ground that was put there for that very reason.

"I wish I could take you with me Ellie," he said. "But I guess that's just one thing I can't do." He bent over and kissed the tombstone. Carl didn't feel cold concrete. He never did. He always felt her lips kissing him back. Those lips that always tasted of grape soda.

He had given Russell the Ellie Badge years ago, but the kid had given him a badge of his own; a little token to remember him by: the Assistance to the Elderly Wilderness Explorer Badge. Carl straightened it on his jacket as he walked out of the cemetery.

He didn't know if he could handle a face-to-face good-bye. That would simply have been too hard. Letters were better, he decided. They allowed him to say all he wanted to say without getting interrupted. Only one letter was needed and he mailed that now, to a little boy who wasn't that little anymore. Russell would understand. For one so young he certainly seemed to identify with someone as old as him.

There were no dogs on the dirigible anymore. He was all alone as he flew south like a bird. He chuckled as he thought of that. Yes, this was indeed winter. Oh, sure, the sun was shining, the trees were full and green, and all the flowers were in bloom. But this was _his_ winter.

The flight didn't take long. Carl touched down on a rocky barren surface just as the sun was rising. There was a lot of fog, just like the first time. And also just like the first time, a stiff wind blew it all away, revealing the jaw-dropping beauty of Paradise Falls. And there, right near the edge, was his home. _Their_ home. It could never belong to just one person. There were just too many memories; too much history…

He took his time as he walked the distance from the dirigible to the old, beaten up house. He walked up the steps and then turned around so he could look out at the large expanse of wilderness. He smiled at the memory of that crazy adventure years ago. He supposed Kevin and her chicks were out there somewhere, undoubtedly still playing with his tennis balls.

He chucked and shook his head. Walking inside the house was so familiar to him. True, it was empty, but in his mind's eye everything was still exactly as it was before. The pictures, the chairs, the jar that had held all of those coins…

Carl wandered around the house one last time, reliving his old routine of waking, eating, dusting, and washing. Until finally he walked out the side door. They were still there, just as he had left them. The chairs; his and hers.

Abandoning his walker he went over and sat down with a sigh and a groan. It felt good to sit down in such a familiar seat again. The large red chair seemed to embrace him, if that was even possible. He stretched out his feet and stumbled upon something else. Their Adventure Book. All his joints creaking with resistance, he bent over and picked it up.

He didn't know how long he sat there, running his hands over the pictures, the magazine clippings, Ellie's crayon drawings…All those were very familiar to him. He had looked at them every day since she had passed. It was the new pictures that he spent the most time on.

Carl hadn't even known Ellie had finished the book until much, much later. He always thought it a shame he hadn't had much time to ponder over all the memories that stirred in his mind as he looked at the black and white, and sometimes color pictures of he and Ellie. They had been so young, so in love.

'_Thanks for the adventure. Now go have a new one!'_

"I have Ellie. I have. But it hasn't been as fun without you." He closed the book and kept it in his lap. He stared out over the landscape, wishing that Ellie could have seen it too.

His hand slipped from the arm rest and dangled over the side. But there was another hand there to catch it. Small, soft fingers entwined with his. He looked up.

And there she was. Exactly the same as ever. Her green eyes were sparkling, a small, loving smile played on her lips, her face glowing with the setting sun. One look said all that was needed to be said, and they'd said it so many times. Carl returned her embrace and together they sat and stared out at the bright setting of the sun.

No words were said between them. Nothing needed to be said. Everything they had wanted to say, had wanted to do, had all been said and done.

There were no regrets.


End file.
